Happy Valentine's Day, Screw-Up!

Look. Sometimes we screw up. Sometimes we wake up in the morning and our devoted and thoughtful partners present us with cards or gifts for holidays which we've forgotten about. Did you do that today? I'm here to help.

I'm sure you feel badly enough already, but we're all pretty disappointed in you. Here is an hors d'oeuvre so quick, so simple, so cheap and so god damned adorable, it will get you out of any Valentine's Day failure.

Is this a showstopper, flavor-wise? No. Upon testing, my Sidekick and I both agreed it could really benefit from the addition of - you guessed it - cheese. I mean, a quick smear of goat cheese between the bread and the pepper would really make this something special. Experiment at will.

I am prone neither to making cute little holiday-themed snacks, nor to making a big deal out of this particular holiday. Which isn't to say that I don't like it. I really, really do. But, my Sidekick and I will be ordering pizza and drinking champagne at home this evening, not primping ourselves up for a four-star dinner in a restaurant packed with hundreds of other people ogling each other. I'm sorry to be a bit of a jerk about this, but I treat this day the same way I treat New Year's Eve: a great time to stay home and eat something fancy, while avoiding the throngs of amateurs throwing up in the street. (Anyone who has ever thrown up in the street on Valentine's Day, please write in. Your story deserves to be shared.)

So, screw-up, here is what I recommend. Leave work half an hour early. Stop into the nearest cooking/baking/food-preparing shop. Get yourself a heart-shaped cookie cutter, the few ingredients this canapé requires, and set to melting your love's heart just a bit, after fucking up so monumentally this morning. And, I mean, making them a cocktail probably wouldn't hurt either? Happy Valentine's Day, dears!

Valentine Canapés (Hot)
Cut slices of bread into heart shapes and with the same cutter stamp out hearts from slices of pimiento, first drying them well. Saute both bread and pimiento in butter or olive oil, lay the pimientos on the bread and sprinkle with salt, pepper and finely minced parsley.

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