You Serve Your Mother That Cocktail?

Sometimes, you want to do something elaborate and show-stopping with your cocktails. Sometimes you want to flame an orange peel, measure three different kinds of bitters with an eye dropper and squeeze kumquats one-by-one over hand-chipped ice.

Mother in Law Cocktail. from Rebecca Orchant on Vimeo.

And sometimes, you just want to pour something strong out of a big, manly bottle and drink it. Fast. Which is why we're presenting you today with the Mother In Law cocktail.

Happy Accidents with Vinegar

Oh, it's me, pickle-crazy again. Remember when I pickled everything in my apartment? Remember when some pickled okra left a crazy amount of extra brine? I poured it over these to make my favorite cocktail garnish to date.

Let’s talk Gibsons for a moment. A Gibson is basically a classic gin martini, garnished with a pickled onion instead of an olive. The perk? No one ever asks if you want that Gibson made with vodka or with gin. They just KNOW. If you're asking for a cocktail garnished with a pickled onion, people generally assume you're not afraid of flavor. Vodka drinkers: I'M SORRY. I just don't get you people.

Grumpiness, Meat and Gratitude

Sometimes you have bad days. Sometimes, you have bad days that follow other bad days, that have probably been piggy-backed by other bad days. Sometimes you are in a funk cloud that you can't get out of. If you are lucky, from this final, funky, cloudy, grumpy, bad day, you come home like a ravenous monster to your husband (or Sidekick) standing over this.

And then you feel pretty insanely lucky. Lucky to have him. Lucky to have the giant porterhouse he brought home searing in the cast iron skillet. Lucky to have two Manhattans waiting. Lucky to have a tried and true old MacBook in the background to write on, especially upon hearing the news about Steve Jobs. Lucky to been have brought up as a Mac nerd from the get-go. Just lucky, all around. So, from one lucky jerk to another, go do something awesome. And maybe eat a fucking steak. It will definitely make you feel better.

Jerry Orbach's Trifle

Just wanted to share the most amazing, nerdy food thing I've read about today. The Dead Celebrity Cookbook is for sale on Amazon as we speak, and I think I'd really like you guys to buy it. Also, please be on the lookout for my new punk-soul band, Jerry Orbach's Trifle. I am not kidding about this. This is really going to be the name of my (imaginary) band. I created our first album cover for our (imaginary) forthcoming, self-titled EP.

Have I mentioned that a seasonal change makes me a little weird? You're welcome.

In Case You Are Melting

I joked with my sidekick last night (I wasn't joking) that we've reached the the part of the year where all I want to drink is Mexican beer. The only beer I will fruit - just shove a lime in a Pacifico and send me on my way. I have to admit, when I said that, I'd momentarily forgotten about this bad boy. Allow me to introduce you to the Pucker Up.

If those straws do not make you swoon, you may want to check your pulse.

Swoon.

A few weekends ago, the wind took us up to Williamsburg, landed us at Dram for a few cocktails, then on to Pies n' Thighs for a hedonistic bloodbath of fried chicken consumption. At Dram (which is a delight in a sea of overpriced, over-styled, overblown meat markets) my Sidekick ordered a bartender's choice with Rye, spirit-forward, as he is wont to do. The lovely, capable, tattooed girl behind the bar brought him Archibald's Last Memory. It was so delicious and so unlike anything we're currently drinking that my wonderful, obsessive Sidekick purchased each ingredient and went to work re-creating it. Filmed by McPickles, performance and editing by Fred Swayze. Please to enjoy.



Buyer beware: one of these will make you feel drunk.

Step Five: Don't Forget That You're Cooking

Sometimes I have ideas to make funny videos. Then sometimes, other drunk people have already had that idea and are pretty funny. Don't fuckin hurt yourself.

A Pretty Good Reason to Marry Someone

In our circle, it's a pretty well known fact that my Sidekick makes a mean cocktail. However, he has a dirty little secret: he also makes a pretty great little movie.

This cocktail, the Negroni for Wimps, is made with Campari's slightly less jaded sister, Aperol. It is lightly sweet, extremely refreshing and has me even more anxious for spring to arrive. I mean, just looking at those ice cubes makes me want to be in flip flops.

So, without further ado, please enjoy the reason I must constantly make snacks. To keep us from getting too drunk.