How to Horrify Your Dinner Guests

Because of my upbringing, I take Halloween very seriously.

When I say "my upbringing", what I mean is this: my childhood house turned into a crypt for the entire month of October and part of November because my mother takes Halloween very seriously. Our front yard was a cemetery. Our windows were blockaded with ghosts and warning signs. Navigating the spider webs in the hallways became an important skill. There was a fountain of blood in our dining room. Doorknobs turned into monster hands. Am I painting enough of a picture for you? Every year my parents threw a balls-out, lavish, enormous Halloween party for 100 of their closest friends. I've decided it's my responsibility to uphold this tradition, albeit on a slightly smaller scale in my adult life. In that spirit: a little Halloween party food porn:

Dear Tastebuds: Duck and Cover

Just so we're all clear, I can be a bit of a braggart. I love to proclaim loudly to whoever will listen that I grew up eating just about anything that was placed in front of me. This is mostly true. But there have been a few hold-outs in my life. It took me a fairly solid two decades to appreciate a runny yolk, a tuna fish sandwich, and now, the star of today's show: anchovies.

I have ALWAYS wanted to like anchovies. When, as they will in any reputable establishment, a server asked if I'd like anchovies in my Caesar salad, I'd always boldly say yes. And, without fail, I'd end up pushing the leathery little monsters around my plate like refugees. Fishy is still a flavor profile that I'm working on having the utmost enthusiasm for. Let's just say that Anchovy Canapes I made me feel particularly enthusiastic.

The Flavor is Unusual

I always say I could never be a vegetarian. But honestly? If there were enough mushrooms, cheese and Shanghai mock duck involved, I probably could be. When my Sidekick and I first started dating, I asked him - as every one of his predecessors had been asked - if there were any foods he didn't like to eat. And I mean, let's be honest, this is a trick question. This question only gets asked so that I can force you to try your worst gustatory enemies in a way that will make you forgive them. My Sidekick's answer: beets, mushrooms, Jello. Since that day, he has declared beets to be one of his favorite foods, never balks at a mushroom and still despises Jello. We're getting there.