Armed Only with Garlic-Breath and a Bad Attitude

It's the hap-happiest time of the year.

I know everyone is angry about ramps again this year. Last year we were mad because everyone makes such a big deal out of them. This year we're mad because we're like, diminishing our biodiversity, man. With all due respect, I love you all very much, but please shut up and just let me eat my onions.

Because, really, I'm going to pickle them and turn them into soup and toss them into sizzling saute pans of butter, chunked up spring onions and mushrooms all spring long and I don't care what you say. If you think they just taste like glorified onions? Don't effing eat them. How's that for a solution to our over-foraging issue? If you think they're over-blown, over-hyped and obnoxious, don't put them on your menu just because everyone else in the city is. Really, leave some for the rest of us who may want to snuggle with them for the few weeks they're around.

However, if you're of the mind to savor a few ramps during the fifteen minutes or so you can actually buy them, folding some San Marzanos into the aforementioned saute pan, tossing it all with rigatoni and spooning a healthy dollop of ricotta on top is a really pleasant way to spend an evening with the windows open.